I missed it!

Phoenix is 8 months old!!  At 18lb, he is heavier than Victory, Levi, Shiloh and Jericho each were at one year. :)  He is a happy, smiley guy!  He doesn't always sleep the greatest at night, but is a champion napper - about 2 to 3 hours in the morning, and another 1-1/2 to 2-1/2 hrs in the afternoon.  Nighttime has improved recently.  He's only up about 3 times per night instead of every hr - hr and a half like he was previously.  Nothing is safe around here anymore since he started crawling... and pulling himself up on anything and everything.  What a joy he has been! :)

How do you feel about drywall?

What's important to you?  Do you value things?  Or do you value life?

Back in 2008, I wrote a post entitled "Quiverfull".  It was an attempt to explain our views on children.  Those views are the ones we still hold today.  Go ahead and read that post if you missed it, or just need a refresher. ;)  At the end of that post I encouraged readers to ask questions... the offer to answer questions still stands.
 
This post was written by someone who was able to say, much more clearly, what I've tried to express.  (I've included a quote, but reading the entire post will more clearly explain the title of this post...)

"Comment after comment reveals our abhorrence of multiplying children, despite what the Bible teaches to the contrary.  We love one or two; After that, they decrease in value. And not just for our own families.  We abhor it in other families. I know.  I’ve seen their faces too many times.  I’ve heard people take the Lord’s name in vain upon hearing how many children I had. I’ve seen them look at my other children with sympathy–my children who ask almost daily, “When are we going to have another baby?” I’ve heard them question how we’ll feed them, as if they’ve never read Matthew 6.  These are Christians!  They all want to know if I know how to stop *it*….that “horrid multiplying of those things we don’t want more of”."

Take the time to read the recommended post, and also my old post.  Ask questions. Be blessed!

A New Year

Today marks the last day of our first week of schooling for this year.  There have been some snags (as there always are), but I am SO thankful for the fact that I have the option to school my children at home.

Today I read a great post that gave me some things to think about, but also put into words the "why" of what we've chosen for our family.  You can read the whole post here.  Below I've included two quotes that really stood out for me.

"The reason we are teaching at home (aside from the fact that we believe God has asked us to) is so we can nurture their personalities and bents, focus on the areas God has gifted them, disciple them in life, and continue to cultivate the garden of their souls…which is quite a bit of work (especially because mine needs a lot of cultivating itself!)."

"The biggest goals I have for my children are that they know God, love Him, and love others. I want to teach them about the world around us so that they can reach out to the world…and love well. I suppose if I didn’t accomplish anything else, I’d be most satisfied if my children knew and loved God, gave Him their hearts, and loved people well. "

I love the picture of "cultivating the garden of their souls".  And, yes, my own soul needs plenty of cultivating. I pray that this would be a year of learning and growth for ALL of us,  that we would know God more deeply, and love him more fully.  I'm excited to see what he has in store for us!

For those that don't know:  This year we have Alex (8th grade), Chase (6th grade), Victory Joy (1st grade), and Levi (Kindergarten).  The other three are just "learning life". :)

It's Deja Vu... All Over Again

This little guy...

(Levi - 7mo)

...turns 6 today.

Oh, how he's changed!!

(Levi - 5yrs 11mo)

Well, mostly he just got taller! ;)

And, I get to see his little self everyday when I look at this...

(Levi's "mini-me"  ~ Phoenix, about 7 months)

HAPPY 6TH BIRTHDAY, LEVI!!

WE LOVE YOU!!

Perfection

A friend shared this post, titled "The disease called "Perfection"", on Facebook.  A quote from the author says:

There is a serious pandemic of "Perfection" spreading, and it needs to stop. Hear me out because this is something for which I am passionately and constantly hurting. It's a sickness that I've been trying to put into words for years without much success. It's a sickness that I have personally struggled with. It's a sickness that at times has left me hiding in dark corners and hating myself.

Some of the comments in regard to this post are absolutely heartbreaking.

Perfection is a disease that affects many (most?) of us.  I am affected.  I know several friends who are infected.  I often see signs of the disease in my own children.

perfection |pərˈfek sh ən|
noun
the condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects 

• a person or thing perceived as the embodiment of such a condition, state, or quality 

• the action or process of improving something until it is faultless or as faultless as possible

perfectionism |pərˈfek sh əˌnizəm|
noun
refusal to accept any standard short of perfection.
• Philosophy a doctrine holding that religious, moral, social, or political perfection is attainable, esp. the theory that human moral or spiritual perfection should be or has been attained.
 

Now, perfection is different than perfectionism... and yet, often driven by perfectionism.

We attempt, in so many ways, to appear perfect to those around us.  And when we appear less than perfect, we struggle -- with depression, with anger, with self-loathing, and other demeaning feelings and emotions.

For me, those feelings and emotions rear their ugly head when someone makes a comment like, "You are such a saint!"  or "I don't know how you do it!"  (These are usually said in reference to the fact that I have 7 children, and have somehow managed to stay out of the loony bin.)

How has "perfection" affected me?

*I yell at my kids - frequently.  Often, I yell at them for yelling at each other.  Really?  What kind of example am I setting?  I lose my temper.  I say mean things.  And then my heart aches for what I've just done to my 'baby'.

*I struggle with managing my time in an appropriate way.  I spend WAY too much time sitting in front of the computer at the expense of time with my kids.

*My house is rarely clean (although, I've been working on that particular issue).

*I have bad habits that I've been trying to break for YEARS.  I FREQUENTLY beat myself up over these issues, and hide them from most people.  If you know about them, it's because a) I really trust you, or b) you found out quite by accident. 

*I don't brush my teeth twice a day and rarely floss... even though I know that the hormone changes of pregnancy reek havoc in my mouth.  I feel regular guilt over the fact that I have cavities because as a kid, I never had ANY.  Wouldn't you think an adult would be BETTER at caring for their teeth than a kid?

*I (mostly) hate my body, and yet I don't do much to change it.  This is a struggle I've had since I was quite young.  As a young teen, I dismantled a disposable razor and used the blade to cut the word "FAT" into my stomach... in letters about 3" tall.  The scars, if they are still there, are now completely covered by stretchmarks (which I also hate; but I wouldn't give up even ONE of the 'reasons' for them!)

*I never feel I'm good enough.  Are you my friend?  I probably doubt the strength of our friendship (how much you REALLY like me) on a regular basis.  I wait for people to give up on our friendship, and when it happens (not really that often, but it has happened) I hurt - for a very long time - and project reasons, and have a lot of self-blame.

*I expect others to behave in ways that I, myself, do not.  I expect people to treat me in ways that I don't treat others.  I expect others to be 'perfect'.

*I know that getting into God's word, trusting in HIS power, and having communion with Him through prayer, is the ONLY way to heal, to change.  And yet I don't do it. (Rather, I'm spending time on FB, or playing online games, or checking my email for the 4ooth time today.)

The above is just a 'starter list'.

Not being 'real' cost me my marriage once.  I thank God nearly every day for giving it back.  And now, we're real.  We saw what the alternative was.  We lived it.  Our relationship is better than ever.  Do we still have our moments?  Sure.  But, we work through them (usually in moments, sometimes in a few hours, and rarely it takes a day or two) and grow because we are willing to be real.

There are certain people in my life with whom I feel less able to be 'real'.  Some, I'm sure, wouldn't care if they really knew all my  imperfections, but I have a lot of fear of failure and rejection.  Others, it's not a fear, but simply a reality proven by time and by brief moments of 'realness' that made it clear anything but perfection was not to be tolerated.

I see perfection threaten to derail marriages, friendships, parents, on a regular basis.  Please, let's be real.  Support each other in the quest for 'perfection' as it pertains to Biblical perfection, but be real in your expectations!  Remember that we can NOT be perfect this side of heaven... yet we can be (we HAVE been!!) perfected.